Healing testimony from a member in Shofar Somerset West.
I’ve always been a shy introverted girl. Growing up I found my solace in books and disliked being around people. I could never get rid of the insecurities and that feeling of not belonging. I very often would hide my true self to avoid being judged, to try to shape myself in such a way that I would fit whatever version I thought would be acceptable to people. I used to have this constant battle in my mind where I would go home after a day out and just replay every word I said, everything I did and rewrite the story, wishing I said something different or didn’t speak at all.
As I grew older and started pursuing truth and God’s purpose for my life, He started revealing to me how skewed my view of myself had become. And even though that brought so much clarity and freedom I also became more aware of what I would call all my shortcomings. I walked in constant conflict trying to bring what I believed about myself and what God said about me together. From my point of view, it was just so polar opposite. On the one hand, I really wanted to be that person, while on the other hand, I could not fathom ever becoming even a version of that.
I struggled with anxiety, depression, fear, unworthiness, self-hate and so many other things that kept me in bondage and unable to receive all that God promised for me. During the first week of Spirit Truth School of Worship, I saw they had counselling and deliverance sessions scheduled for the students and I was determined not to walk away still in bondage. I went in ready to be rid of all that riddled me and of course, God, in all His faithfulness, did not disappoint.
Today I can testify of His goodness and mercy. I can testify of how He came and not only freed me from all these things but changed my mindset. Never in my life before could I confidently say I love myself; I love my voice, I love everything about me and I believe that I am loved and valued, without having some doubt lingering, but today I am free from all those negative voices. I find myself walking around the house making up random songs again, something I used to love doing. I can sit in a crowd and not feel alienated. I can worship God freely without worrying about what the person next to me might think.
Also, just as a nice reminder of God’s love, at the end of the week as I’m in the shower singing and praising God, I look down at my legs and I realise that my previously crooked knees are perfectly straight. Healed without even having to ask for it! Things I used to struggle to do have become easy. I can easily climb stairs, do squats, sit cross-legged, kneel, and clean the house without taking lots of breaks to rest. So many things that I had trouble with, and I had no idea it was all related to my legs. God gave me total freedom, emotional, spiritual, and physical.
So here I am on the other side of a beautiful gift of a week neatly wrapped up in a bow of physical healing and I am in awe of what the Lord has done.